Only when it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

Nico and I took a while to decide if and when to have a second baby. We felt really lucky with our first, besides the first three months which completely turned my life upside down, she slept, she ate, she smiled, she grew, she's smart, she's a joy. We wondered what if the second one wasn't? Then there was the whole moving of countries, spending all our savings, not finding jobs right away, adjusting to life in a new country and basically getting really used to life as three. Finally we made the decision and what felt like in a blink of an eye we went from three to four. Only it felt a lot more like from one child to one hundred. In all those years of contemplating number two, the nine months of pregnancy, not one person, friend or foe, mentioned that the second baby would be harder. Noone. SO when it was....well I was just shocked. Then suddenly everyone I knew with more than one child started chiming in about how hard number 2 was. Like litteraly, my OBGYN, friends of fri...

If you couldn't tell from the title above, this is not a post for the weak at heart. I was resigned to make this birth (number 2) go better than the first. I really wanted one of those quiet, peaceful, beautiful birth stories. I watched video after video of those types of births, I read two hypnotherapy books, I took a 500.00 6 week hypnobirthing class, I meditated daily, I got a doula and I did daily exercises to get the baby in a good position, I even walked 2-3 miles a day! Similar to the first go, my due date came and went peacefully. I thought I would be OK with it this time, I think I would be more patient....but something inside of me slowly started snapping. I worked until I was 38 weeks pregnant this time, taking two weeks off to prepare my body, mind, house and life for baby 2. That was very helpful, from daily walks, yoga, acupuncture and cleaning, I did enjoy my time off even if it was still the end of dreary winter. Yet, three days past due date and I found myself ...

It's really hard to believe that we left Australia a year and a half ago. I think of Melbourne so often that it feels like it was months ago. We've definitely settled into life here, in terms of working, living, friends, activities, and family. I still have not decided if I like it to be honest. What I have decided is to be mindful. While there is lots to be grateful for, many of my friends from AU still ask, "are you glad you moved?" Some because they are considering their own move back to their home countries, others out of curiosity and some because they want us to come back ;) Yes and no I often answer. I miss so much about Melbourne and I miss so much about my friends that still live there. Melbourne has been voted the most liveable city in the world for like 7 years in a row, so it's not hard to believe it would be easily missed. From living a few blocks to the beach, to free accessible healthcare, a gun free society, 4 weeks of vacation a year and 12 na...