Being mindful

It's really hard to believe that we left Australia a year and a half ago. I think of Melbourne so often that it feels like it was months ago. We've definitely settled into life here, in terms of working, living, friends, activities, and family. I still have not decided if I like it to be honest. What I have decided is to be mindful. While there is lots to be grateful for, many of my friends from AU still ask, "are you glad you moved?" Some because they are considering their own move back to their home countries, others out of curiosity and some because they want us to come back ;)

Yes and no I often answer. I miss so much about Melbourne and I miss so much about my friends that still live there. Melbourne has been voted the most liveable city in the world for like 7 years in a row, so it's not hard to believe it would be easily missed. From living a few blocks to the beach, to free accessible healthcare, a gun free society, 4 weeks of vacation a year and 12 national holidays, unlimited sick leave....umm...wait subsidized childcare, highly paid social work jobs, and yummy vegan food on every corner, great coffee, bike lanes on every road, park after park after park and events and music and culural activities, should I go on?

I am not saying Boston isn't fun. I have resigned to stop talking about AU *except in this intro paragraph above* for the time being. As Nico always tells me, "it's not going anywhere Meg." I have resigned to be mindful this year. In working as a therapist over the last year I teach and coach several times a week what is mindfulness, how do you practice it, how does it reduce anxiety, etc. I should put my money where my mouth is. There is a lot to be afraid of currently in the world, in this country and even in my soon to be role of mom of 2. However, as I continually preach to others, "well what IS in your control?" I decided to take my own advice. I focus on the day. I focus on the moment. I try to stay present. I write down things that I am grateful for. I enjoy those around me, I remember all the time that my daughter will soon be another day older and when reflecting back how MUCH she has changed in 3 years. How much our lives will change soon after baby 2 comes flying onto the scene. Life is constantly changing even when we feel "bored." I am practicing my breathing, my mindful walks, using my five senses and cherishing even doing the dishes. There's lots I can do and there is a lot in my control. I have to focus on that. 

It's helped a lot through this pregnancy which hasn't always been easy. I have been blessed with a healthy easy pregnancy but carrying around an extra 25 pounds while working and caring for a 3 year old and not sleeping also takes its toll emotionally and physically. The winter has taken its toll, I know I don't like winter, but I'm being mindful (because it and me are not going anywhere anytime soon) so I better make peace with it. 

When I put my daughter to bed I sit in her chair upon request and I begin my calm breathing and close my eyes entering a state of self hypnosis I have gotten fairly good at recently. Its a nice feeling shutting off the feelings in my body, drifting into a warm relaxed state of being. Picturing the healthy birth of my 2nd baby girl. The mind can be a powerful thing. I should hope so as I tell my patients that everyday. 

I am not getting a year's maternity leave this time around, but given that the US often only gives 12 weeks, I have negotiated for more than that and will enjoy my time at home. I have always been a fighter and an activist and hope that the more people that push for more the better the overall outcomes will be. If we accept what is "normal" well nothing will ever change. 

I didn't have the energy today to get the baby room ready or even work on my presentation for work during A's nap time, but instead literally fell asleep sideways on the couch until she came bounding back in to wake me up. I felt guilty later in the evening that I "didn't do anything today." So I thought what did I do? I raised a 3 year old, fed her 3 meals, brought her to a valentine's party, a class, the library, dentist and bought valentines for my family and her friends. I did dishes, laundry, read books, napped, and made a seemingly healthy dinner. No I didn't do the long list of to do's I have been acquiring, but I did spend the day with my daughter which is the reason I work part time. I reminded myself that soon getting out of bed and showering would be an accomplishment when I will have a newborn to take care of and I needed to start living in the moment. Oh, I guess I wrote a blog post too ;)


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