If you died tomorrow, and someone asked you if you had lived, would you say yes?
I mean I don't really have the flu, it's probably just a cold, but since I didn't take any of those magic little red pills that my mom used to give me as a child, it feels much worse. Seriously.
I think I'll live though.
I would say yes. Chapter 9. That's what chapter I am on in my life. This one is called apartment. I got an apartment with my boyfriend and I am very excited to live with him, but I have never lived with a boy before (a straight one that is), so should be an adventure if anything. This is a new chapter though, its always exciting getting to a new chapter. I just send 10 emails to friends at home, the longer you live, the more people you have to stay in touch with. Sometimes I hear the opposite from people, that as you get older you have less friends, but I completely disagree...I would have to be in front of my computer all day if I really got to talk to everyone that I love. I wish that the world was a tiny bit smaller and that gas didn't cost so much or that smarter people were in charge and did things better. I wish our world wasn't dying the same way people are for stupid reasons. Do you know how much we have changed things?
Do you know what it means to have lived?
I watched people today. I sat on a bench in the sunshine (with my Kleenex at hand) and just watched. I was really happy doing nothing. (and I didn't take the red pills!) The world has completely changed. Now what is important in life makes us unhappy. Makes us sick, stressed, tired, angry, and unfulfilled. Now having THINGS cost us years. Having no where to go today made me restless in my apt, I mean I should be sleeping, drinking tea and keeping the blinds drawn, but because I was born hyperactive, I did that for a good three hours and then put on my leggings and wool socks and sat on that bench. Life is flying by people. In the last few months, I have forgotten that I live in another country, I haven't taken any trips or done anything special out of the norm, I have been to parties, and bars, and apartment searching, out to eat, talked on the phone, gone to work, gotten sick, gossiped and watched movies. For most of the world this is life, but I think there is something much bigger out there. Something that was there before any of us were. It's like we were invited to a party and decided to bring 8,000,000 of our friends. Everyone needs to slow down.
There are so many things I need to write about right now but I know I should be sleeping. How come creativity seems to come late at night? It took me a long time to realize this but one of the things I love so much about living in another country is the possibility. The United States is sort of done. I mean there isn't much more people can invent or come up with or make faster, its there. I tell people I am from NY and everyone always says, oh, I love it there, it's so beautiful. I look at them like they swallowed too many red pills. You think concrete is beautiful? I don't. I think beauty comes from a place we can't put words on. I think it started in the core and has morphed into something that none of us are all too sure of.
Next time you lay down to sleep, know that you will probably live a long life, but ask yourself, just to see, if you die tomorrow, will you have lived?
I think I'll live though.
I would say yes. Chapter 9. That's what chapter I am on in my life. This one is called apartment. I got an apartment with my boyfriend and I am very excited to live with him, but I have never lived with a boy before (a straight one that is), so should be an adventure if anything. This is a new chapter though, its always exciting getting to a new chapter. I just send 10 emails to friends at home, the longer you live, the more people you have to stay in touch with. Sometimes I hear the opposite from people, that as you get older you have less friends, but I completely disagree...I would have to be in front of my computer all day if I really got to talk to everyone that I love. I wish that the world was a tiny bit smaller and that gas didn't cost so much or that smarter people were in charge and did things better. I wish our world wasn't dying the same way people are for stupid reasons. Do you know how much we have changed things?
Do you know what it means to have lived?
I watched people today. I sat on a bench in the sunshine (with my Kleenex at hand) and just watched. I was really happy doing nothing. (and I didn't take the red pills!) The world has completely changed. Now what is important in life makes us unhappy. Makes us sick, stressed, tired, angry, and unfulfilled. Now having THINGS cost us years. Having no where to go today made me restless in my apt, I mean I should be sleeping, drinking tea and keeping the blinds drawn, but because I was born hyperactive, I did that for a good three hours and then put on my leggings and wool socks and sat on that bench. Life is flying by people. In the last few months, I have forgotten that I live in another country, I haven't taken any trips or done anything special out of the norm, I have been to parties, and bars, and apartment searching, out to eat, talked on the phone, gone to work, gotten sick, gossiped and watched movies. For most of the world this is life, but I think there is something much bigger out there. Something that was there before any of us were. It's like we were invited to a party and decided to bring 8,000,000 of our friends. Everyone needs to slow down.
There are so many things I need to write about right now but I know I should be sleeping. How come creativity seems to come late at night? It took me a long time to realize this but one of the things I love so much about living in another country is the possibility. The United States is sort of done. I mean there isn't much more people can invent or come up with or make faster, its there. I tell people I am from NY and everyone always says, oh, I love it there, it's so beautiful. I look at them like they swallowed too many red pills. You think concrete is beautiful? I don't. I think beauty comes from a place we can't put words on. I think it started in the core and has morphed into something that none of us are all too sure of.
Next time you lay down to sleep, know that you will probably live a long life, but ask yourself, just to see, if you die tomorrow, will you have lived?
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