Only when it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

I wrote this poem first over a year ago about a girl that I was working with at the home. She left shortly after I wrote this poem, and I didn't hear from her until she found me on the internet about two months ago, we have since then been back in touch and I have seen her regularly, she is doing much better. Here is a look at the poem and a way to end of a happy note. The cloud passes over By, Meghan Vooris It was first the eyes that drew me to her depths unknown to me there are waves in there thoughts darker than night she'll tell me to go when she cries for me to stay abandoned. alone. full. stronger, harder, tougher It's not the emptiness that carries her it's the longing to be full again Once left over and over the pattern has been set repeating without sympathy without giving in a deeper cut when she sees the blood the wounds make sense how can I hurt without bleeding the warmth spills over spills from her veins how do we apply pressure to a wound you can not ...

Well its spring officially, which means the weather is warmer, the sun shines longer, and I don't have to wear two pairs of pants to go outside anymore. With spring, usually comes spring cleaning. Miraculously my number of clients has increased, and in my opinion because most people don't just clean out from under their beds in the spring, but also any extra baggage they are hanging onto as well. I know I am. The home that I volunteered in for over a year and a half closed in the middle of July, the last time I ever went to Aldea Maria Reina was June 22, 2011, that was almost four months ago. It was a really nice closing for us as volunteers and hopefully for the girls that spent anywhere from a few months to several years of their lives there. There was all the appropriate Chilean wonders of a Despidida, including soda, chips, cake and lots of reggeton music playing. The volunteers had planned a special closing  activity. We bought all 30 girls that still lived at the home g...

If I HAVE to say goodbye to one more person that I get close to, I am going to throw my body on the ground and have a good old fashion temper tantrum, screaming, kicking, spitting, yelling until I get what I want.  What I want, for everyone that I love, and is kind, and fun, and has brought joy in my life to live in ONE place. The world is not too small, rather its too damn large. This weekend I had to say goodbye to my one really close Chilean girlfriend that I have known for almost two years, who has been there every week, listening to me ramble on in what started as broken Spanish and ended as where we are at now. It was hard to watch her go, I thought I had made a sure bet with this one, she is Chilean, she can't leave like the million gringos that have come and gone, many of which I have gotten really close to and then they decided to move to some other country. Well my Chilean best friend HAD to also go fall in love with a gringo and off she flew to Fra...

To everyone reading this, every contact you know, and anyone that can find an answer, As you probably know or are learning now, I came to South America almost two years ago to volunteer in a home for adolescent girls that have been abused or neglected. I came for four months, I stayed for 20....now I will end up outlasting the children that I have grown so incredibly attached to. Due to finances (old story), demands (older story), lack of appreciation for diginity, human life, or prevention services in the field of social welfare (everywhere in the world), they are closing down the home that keeps 60 girls safe and in better living conditions than anywhere else, and has serviced thousands of children in the over 40 years that it has been open. currently, there are 29 girls living in the hogar as they tried in the last 6 months to cut numbers in order to remain afloat, found it was still impossible, now they have two weeks to place 29 kids in other homes for adolescents (that are alrea...

I mean I don't really have the flu, it's probably just a cold, but since I didn't take any of those magic little red pills that my mom used to give me as a child, it feels much worse. Seriously. I think I'll live though. I would say yes. Chapter 9. That's what chapter I am on in my life. This one is called apartment. I got an apartment with my boyfriend and I am very excited to live with him, but I have never lived with a boy before (a straight one that is), so should be an adventure if anything. This is a new chapter though, its always exciting getting to a new chapter. I just send 10 emails to friends at home, the longer you live, the more people you have to stay in touch with. Sometimes I hear the opposite from people, that as you get older you have less friends, but I completely disagree...I would have to be in front of my computer all day if I really got to talk to everyone that I love. I wish that the world was a tiny bit smaller and that gas didn't co...

On December 1, 2010 I started training for the Santiago Marathon, I started thinking about training for the Santiago Marathon however about 2 months before that, I convinced two people in my office to run it with me, one lasted to November, the other till the end of December, and on I continued. I had many set backs along the four month schedule, a 2 week trip to Brazil, a double ear infection that lasted 10 days, my parents trip to Chile, but somehow April 3 reached closer and closer and I didn't back down. My dreams during the four months of winning the marathon, qualifying for boston, kicking ass... quickly disappeared however as time grew near and I didn't get in the mileage I wanted, and the longest run I managed 2 weeks before the marathon was a measely 17 miles, not quite close to the 26.2 I would need to run. Well I decided, no matter what I would go out that day and see what happened. I was hoping with the fact that I live a very active lifestyle, bike several miles a ...

The day started off early, when I woke up to the sound of my third alarm clock blazing and the lights flashing 7:30, I wanted to shut it off, I really wanted to go back to sleep, it was cold out and I think even dark still, where had summer gone? I managed to get out of bed and started prepping my training I was giving that morning to the volunteers at VE GLOBAL, regarding crisis intervention and increasing coping skills. I made coffee, toast with hummus and wrapped my blanket around my shoulders. It was going to be a cold morning. In the middle of the training that morning I was talking about the Therapeautic Crisis Intervention approach when I was asked a difficult question regarding a difficult child a volunteer was trying to manage. While I searched my brain for an answer, Eileen Bosworth, popped into head, my last supervisor and boss who had run the prevention center I worked in. Whenever I felt overwhelmed or stressed, she would make me put my thoughts into imaginary boxes and ...

Maybe I should stop counting how long I have lived here, it's just that I still get the question at least once a week, how long have you been here? When are you going home?  Well as normal, I have let life fly by and decided it's about time for an update, as I arrive at my 1 1/2 year mark of life in Chile. I'm sorry, hasn't it been decades? Well life has been swift, exciting, normal and swell as it can be. I spent the holiday season in Chile this year, enjoying an amazing Chilean Thanksgiving with all of the international volunteers and friends here in my apartment. We had a splendid mix of traditional dishes and international food. We passed around boxed wine and then mushily all stood up to say exactly what we were thankful for that year. I was grateful for many many things. Following Thanksgiving, I stayed in the very warm holiday spirit by attending the Paris Day Parade (yes its a mockery of the Macy's day Parade), some holiday parties, and a beau...

Do you love that phrase that people use sometimes after you say something upsetting or bad that's happened and then that guy looks at you and says "welcome to real life." Who is that guy, where did he decide what real life was and why does he think he needs to tell me about it. You want my real opinion, that guy doesn't have a gosh  darn clue about life, but is happy someone else found misery like himself. Stop welcoming me to anything other than today, thank you. I have been in one those "moods" lately, you know what mood I am talking about, where things are a bit placid, where it hasn't rained in a while, the pond is sitting still, no large rocks are being thrown about, no waves to look at. Do you know that you can never go to the same river twice because the water is constantly moving, and any spot you choose to go to, the second time you come back, its completely different, but yet it can look the same. This mood needs a large rock. I think maybe I...