Dear 10 month old Amelia,
Dear 10 month old Amelia,
Let's be honest, month number 10 in your life was definitely the hardest. I started working again this month, two days a week and I'm pretty sure you don't like that. The day before you turned 9 months old, you got your first cold and we stayed up all night, you and I, fighting the fever, the vomiting and the cough with lots of cuddles. In the morning, I had thought, well we survived that, should be uphill from here. Then a few days later you came home again from childcare with double conjunctivitis, and you continued to smile through the cough, runny nose and goey eyes. We had a rough few days but finally you started to feel better. Once again we went to bed counting our blessings only to have you wake us up with a very high fever, you vomited up your breakfast (let's face it I'm so used to being covered in vomit now, we just keep moving about our day) and I thought, well here we go again...and we did...for 10 days straight which included two emergency room visits and one hospital admission.
That was the hardest month of my life. That was the hardest month of your life. I would have let someone cut off my right hand to stop your suffering. But that's not how motherhood works, instead we hold, we sing, we cuddle, we cry and we stare into the eyes of a tiny innocent human who looks at us scared and in pain, questioning what is happening. This is motherhood. This is hard. This is much harder than I ever imagined.
Then a few days before your 10 month birthday you were better. You slept most of the night, I got up 12 times to check on you, why is she sleeping? You started eating again, smiling again, playing again and you were just you....again. I knew we had survived and how quickly we learn to forget. Those endless nights I paced your room while you whimpered hot and shivering at the same time in my arms. The thing is Amelia, I can't take your pain away I'm learning. I can only make it less, I can only be here for you and I think this is going to be a long road ahead. This is only month 10 of your life.
Despite the challenges we both had this month, you somehow have continued to grow and learn. You now like to pull yourself up using mommy or daddy's body to a standing position. You like to take steps when we hold your hands. You like to bounce and dance and clap your hands when we play or sing music to you. You have learned to categorize and often separate your blocks into colors, you have learned that things go into other things and can be taken out. You have figured out gravity and love the game of throwing things off your highchair. You have figured out what makes people go "awwww" and you put your head on their laps or give them a crooked smile. You have 8 teeth and apparently molars coming in as well. You think its fun to bite into an apple. You love to talk and sing and will do that for hours. You love books, especially books that have things you can touch and pull at, you have spent countless hours looking at your animal books. You try to climb out of your stroller when you see a dog on the street. You are always checking to make sure I'm next to you, you don't like when someone else picks you up for a cuddle and you usually let them know. You're still not a fan of crawling and we're not sure when you will be, you like to lay on your belly and move around in circles and your extension to reach something far away is quite impressive. You're able to push yourself into a sitting position from laying down with a bit of help. Your hair is getting really long and Kim from childcare gave you your first ponytail. You love hanging out with other babies and young children. You love people watching and you say hi to everyone, you get excited when we get in the elevator or on the bus because there is usually someone to stare at and see if you can get their attention. Your favorite words are momma, poppa and hi. You like to wave, but only at your own reflection in mirrors and out windows, you love clapping your hands, sometimes in the middle of the night when you decide its party time and no longer sleeping time. Your favorite food appears to be grapes recently. You've started pointing at things. You've learned to play peek a boo by yourself and you can take turns when we play together. You think daddy is the silliest person in the world and laugh out loud when he puts things on top of his head. People keep telling you how clever you are as you're always listening and sometimes look very serious and too wise to only be 9 months old.
It's hard to believe its only a few months left of your first year of life. The night you slept all night after a month long battle of viruses, I lay there realizing how lucky I was to have you and I would do anything to protect you. I realized that the cost of motherhood is much higher than I ever thought it would be and that I have a lot of grey hairs since you were born. I'm excited to continue to watch you grow and learn. I hope that your next virus doesn't last as long and I hope month 11 of your life is a great one.
Lots of love,
Mommy
Let's be honest, month number 10 in your life was definitely the hardest. I started working again this month, two days a week and I'm pretty sure you don't like that. The day before you turned 9 months old, you got your first cold and we stayed up all night, you and I, fighting the fever, the vomiting and the cough with lots of cuddles. In the morning, I had thought, well we survived that, should be uphill from here. Then a few days later you came home again from childcare with double conjunctivitis, and you continued to smile through the cough, runny nose and goey eyes. We had a rough few days but finally you started to feel better. Once again we went to bed counting our blessings only to have you wake us up with a very high fever, you vomited up your breakfast (let's face it I'm so used to being covered in vomit now, we just keep moving about our day) and I thought, well here we go again...and we did...for 10 days straight which included two emergency room visits and one hospital admission.
That was the hardest month of my life. That was the hardest month of your life. I would have let someone cut off my right hand to stop your suffering. But that's not how motherhood works, instead we hold, we sing, we cuddle, we cry and we stare into the eyes of a tiny innocent human who looks at us scared and in pain, questioning what is happening. This is motherhood. This is hard. This is much harder than I ever imagined.
Then a few days before your 10 month birthday you were better. You slept most of the night, I got up 12 times to check on you, why is she sleeping? You started eating again, smiling again, playing again and you were just you....again. I knew we had survived and how quickly we learn to forget. Those endless nights I paced your room while you whimpered hot and shivering at the same time in my arms. The thing is Amelia, I can't take your pain away I'm learning. I can only make it less, I can only be here for you and I think this is going to be a long road ahead. This is only month 10 of your life.
Despite the challenges we both had this month, you somehow have continued to grow and learn. You now like to pull yourself up using mommy or daddy's body to a standing position. You like to take steps when we hold your hands. You like to bounce and dance and clap your hands when we play or sing music to you. You have learned to categorize and often separate your blocks into colors, you have learned that things go into other things and can be taken out. You have figured out gravity and love the game of throwing things off your highchair. You have figured out what makes people go "awwww" and you put your head on their laps or give them a crooked smile. You have 8 teeth and apparently molars coming in as well. You think its fun to bite into an apple. You love to talk and sing and will do that for hours. You love books, especially books that have things you can touch and pull at, you have spent countless hours looking at your animal books. You try to climb out of your stroller when you see a dog on the street. You are always checking to make sure I'm next to you, you don't like when someone else picks you up for a cuddle and you usually let them know. You're still not a fan of crawling and we're not sure when you will be, you like to lay on your belly and move around in circles and your extension to reach something far away is quite impressive. You're able to push yourself into a sitting position from laying down with a bit of help. Your hair is getting really long and Kim from childcare gave you your first ponytail. You love hanging out with other babies and young children. You love people watching and you say hi to everyone, you get excited when we get in the elevator or on the bus because there is usually someone to stare at and see if you can get their attention. Your favorite words are momma, poppa and hi. You like to wave, but only at your own reflection in mirrors and out windows, you love clapping your hands, sometimes in the middle of the night when you decide its party time and no longer sleeping time. Your favorite food appears to be grapes recently. You've started pointing at things. You've learned to play peek a boo by yourself and you can take turns when we play together. You think daddy is the silliest person in the world and laugh out loud when he puts things on top of his head. People keep telling you how clever you are as you're always listening and sometimes look very serious and too wise to only be 9 months old.
It's hard to believe its only a few months left of your first year of life. The night you slept all night after a month long battle of viruses, I lay there realizing how lucky I was to have you and I would do anything to protect you. I realized that the cost of motherhood is much higher than I ever thought it would be and that I have a lot of grey hairs since you were born. I'm excited to continue to watch you grow and learn. I hope that your next virus doesn't last as long and I hope month 11 of your life is a great one.
Lots of love,
Mommy
Bless :) So sweet Meg!
ReplyDeleteBless :) So sweet Meg!
ReplyDelete