I couldn't make up this stuff if I tried, a post by one tired momma
My beautiful 10 week old daughter is sleeping, swaddled, in her stroller, after being rocked in arms and rocked in the stroller for 15 minutes. Its 11:30am, its her second nap, I'm finally eating my first meal of the day after being awake since 715, but if you count last night I was also awake at 245-330 and 515-630. Oh yea and last night it took three 2.5 hours to get her to go to sleep so I went to "bed" at 11:30.
So back to the present moment, because I only have 30 minutes left to type this!
I know this blog post has been written before by some other very tired momma, but maybe if I write it down then it will be as funny as it is in my head.
This shit really happened to me, I couldn't make it up if I tried.
Things were going "OK" for a while after my parents left Australia, I have to write OK in quotes because whats OK with a 5 week old baby is different to what is OK to a life without children. My beautiful daughter (and I do think she is adorable, don't get me wrong) would take leisurely naps during the day and usually drift off for a good 5 hour chunk of sleep by 11 or 12 at night and sleep till 11 or 12 the next morning waking 2 times during the night, it was doable, we were getting some sleep and lucky of all I got out and about during the day. I would go to lunches, coffees, shopping sometimes! Then suddenly and without much warning, she stopped sleeping...first during the day...then at night. One of the first instances I can recall of complete stressed out craziness came about 3 weeks ago. Since at this stage she was still drifting off to bed between 10 and midnight, I had no idea how other moms got out of the house before 1 the next day, but I had agreed to meet some mommas for lunch at 1130 and we tried, trust me we tried, but after feeding, changing, spitting up, changing again and then rocking my tired one to sleep for the good 15 to 20 minutes it takes for her nap, we headed out of the house around 1230 only to arrive to the end of the lunch and sneak in one coffee with one momma who didn't have anywhere to run to, and my daughter woke up. A solid 30 minutes after all that rocking. So I confidently fed her in the restaurant, by confidently I mean I don't care who sees my boobs as I awkwardly hunch over holding my 5.5 kilo baby on a hard wooden chair and sip my soy capaccino. So after feeding and "playing" which to a 7 week old baby is sitting and staring at things mostly me. The tears came, I wasn't sure what they were about but thought she could use a nappy change and another nap. I left the restaurant and went to find a parent room. I have to write a whole different post about parent rooms in Australia, because they deserve their own post. (by the way as I write this I've gotten up 6 times to re rock the stroller when she cried, otherwise I would have the grumpiest baby on the block...and now she's awake, at least she woke up smiling.)
OK so back to looking for the parent room, couldn't find one, but found a handicap bathroom with change table sign, so I was in fed square which is like a mini version of times square. I pushed the green button for the handicap door to open and to my surprise (and his), there stood a naked man (with his socks still on), I was pretty shocked standing there with my eyes bulging trying not to look at his penis....and I just turned the crying baby stroller around and headed towards the normal bathrooms, while I did this, he was trying to shut the automatic door in all his nakedness as people strolled by and all I heard was fu***** cu** over and over again as he pushed on the door that only shuts very very slowly once its fully opened and you push the green button again. I laughed all day after that. Meanwhile babyA was still crying and I needed to find a solution fast, I knew there was a parent room a few blocks away at the Southgate shopping center so I set off on a mini sprint there. By the time I reached that parent room probably 10 minutes later (maybe less but when your baby is screaming bloody murder with tears streaming down her face because she thinks she been abandoned cause no one will pick her up it feels like a century) we were in a hot mess. I picked her up and tried to feed her but she wanted nothing of that, she wanted to scream at me like a banshee for not picking her up and helping her sleep 30 minutes ago and we were in the red zone. Fast forward 30 minutes later after a LOT of bouncing, dancing and singing around Southgate parent room and a diaper change, I finally got her to sleep and put her back in the stroller. I was drenched in sweat and still hadn't eaten anything that day. I went downstairs for a curry puff to eat on the walk, no way was I stopping that stroller now and headed back towards home. Well as we rounded the corner near my house babyA was still sweetly sleeping and I thought, great, she's back in one of her long naps and I have time to get to the grocery store.....I know you know where this is going. Fast forward to being at register with once again screaming baby, race into lobby area pick up baby, rock her, to which at this red zone stage she just screaming louder. Find handicapped bathroom again (no naked men but a shocked looking cleaning lady who I told to GET OUT). 20 minutes of bouncing and sweating in my heavy winter jacket around a cramped handicapped bathroom that smelled like bleach and sh**. I was near tears, my stress levels had skyrocketed and my baby had stopped screaming like she was being tortured. I keep waiting for child protection to knock on my door one day and ask why my child screams so much. Maybe this is karma from working in family services for 10 years. Well I got her to calm down, back in stroller, race home, in the door, crying starts, her dad is still at work. I start fantasizing about cocktails and beaches and how nice life used to be. I remember thinking when I have the baby, I'll have long walks along the beach with her in the stroller, meet friends in the sunshine, but instead I feel tired, stressed, overwhelmed and hungry....80% of the time.
This is just an example of one day, and then it just kept happening so much that I stopped going out because it was too stressful to try and calm my screaming baby in the street, in the grocery store, in the shopping center, in the coffee shop. Why does she keep crying? I was obsessed with this and started to link and track her behavior throughout the day, it didn't take me long to realize that she wasn't sleeping very much. Newborns sleep 17 hours a day. Bullshit, who wrote that? My daughter was lucky to get 12 and a lot of it didn't look restful. No wonder she was miserable and so was I. It's been three weeks of about the same, some days are OK, those are normally the days when daddy is home and we can take turns, but we haven't yet solved the no sleep issue, some nights she drifts off to sleep by 7:30 pm and sleeps for 7 hours, other nights 11pm and sleeps for 2, I know there is some person reading this out there that knows what I'm doing wrong. How come no one told me? Is this normal?
We have this blue exercise ball that we thought was the baby secret several weeks ago (about 7 I'd say) because as soon as you sat on it and started bouncing she stopped crying, then eventually I discovered that it also put her to sleep. Now my husband and I need physical therapy because I think we have officially crushed our spines. My two newest fantasies involve ways to pop the ball, my favorite is throwing it off our balcony in front of a moving tram and watching it explode. My other favorite fantasy is walking out the door one night and checking into the posh hotel at the end of our street, just for one night, one whole night of sleep in a comfy bed, alone, quiet....I'm tearing up as I write that from the thought. Only reason I don't actually ever get out the door is because I would feel too bad for my husband, who is amazing and just as sleep deprived as I am, just tends to handle it better, must be something to do with hormones.
Since our sleep and crying issues started 3-4 weeks ago I've read three books about sleep, ordered a sleep program and googled it 1,675 times and asked everyone I've seen, strangers think I'm pretty weird. We're no where closer to normal, although for some reason Nico thinks so, I think he's just trying to keep my spirits up. I'm sure all babies are different, but to be chained to your house except for that small 45 minute window where she will sleep is pretty crapppppy. I know I could bring her out and let her scream in public, but its too much for me, its not like a sweet baby cry people, its a torture scream.
Newborns aren't easy and we are almost out of the newborn stage! 3 weeks to go, haha, I don't know why supposedly in three weeks she'll suddenly start sleeping and stop crying! But lets be hopeful!
I wasn't sure if I should name this post the things they don't tell you...
I have so many stories similar to the one above and I can't decide if I just did something horribly wrong, or my daughter is shy or gets overstimulated easily or is in pain or what. I read a post called my baby hates the world, sometimes I relate to that one too. The first 4 weeks were incredibly challenging times with learning how to even handle a baby and dealing with infections and the trauma of birth, etc. but now...its a whole new ballgame. Some day she'll sleep well (in 10 years?) and by then I'll be too tired to want to go out for a beer. For now, I'll go enjoy Whiteman Beach aka my balcony. I just put her down for nap number 4 by the way, this blog post was finished in 4 different segments and probably took four different directions. Chau for now.
So back to the present moment, because I only have 30 minutes left to type this!
I know this blog post has been written before by some other very tired momma, but maybe if I write it down then it will be as funny as it is in my head.
This shit really happened to me, I couldn't make it up if I tried.
OK so back to looking for the parent room, couldn't find one, but found a handicap bathroom with change table sign, so I was in fed square which is like a mini version of times square. I pushed the green button for the handicap door to open and to my surprise (and his), there stood a naked man (with his socks still on), I was pretty shocked standing there with my eyes bulging trying not to look at his penis....and I just turned the crying baby stroller around and headed towards the normal bathrooms, while I did this, he was trying to shut the automatic door in all his nakedness as people strolled by and all I heard was fu***** cu** over and over again as he pushed on the door that only shuts very very slowly once its fully opened and you push the green button again. I laughed all day after that. Meanwhile babyA was still crying and I needed to find a solution fast, I knew there was a parent room a few blocks away at the Southgate shopping center so I set off on a mini sprint there. By the time I reached that parent room probably 10 minutes later (maybe less but when your baby is screaming bloody murder with tears streaming down her face because she thinks she been abandoned cause no one will pick her up it feels like a century) we were in a hot mess. I picked her up and tried to feed her but she wanted nothing of that, she wanted to scream at me like a banshee for not picking her up and helping her sleep 30 minutes ago and we were in the red zone. Fast forward 30 minutes later after a LOT of bouncing, dancing and singing around Southgate parent room and a diaper change, I finally got her to sleep and put her back in the stroller. I was drenched in sweat and still hadn't eaten anything that day. I went downstairs for a curry puff to eat on the walk, no way was I stopping that stroller now and headed back towards home. Well as we rounded the corner near my house babyA was still sweetly sleeping and I thought, great, she's back in one of her long naps and I have time to get to the grocery store.....I know you know where this is going. Fast forward to being at register with once again screaming baby, race into lobby area pick up baby, rock her, to which at this red zone stage she just screaming louder. Find handicapped bathroom again (no naked men but a shocked looking cleaning lady who I told to GET OUT). 20 minutes of bouncing and sweating in my heavy winter jacket around a cramped handicapped bathroom that smelled like bleach and sh**. I was near tears, my stress levels had skyrocketed and my baby had stopped screaming like she was being tortured. I keep waiting for child protection to knock on my door one day and ask why my child screams so much. Maybe this is karma from working in family services for 10 years. Well I got her to calm down, back in stroller, race home, in the door, crying starts, her dad is still at work. I start fantasizing about cocktails and beaches and how nice life used to be. I remember thinking when I have the baby, I'll have long walks along the beach with her in the stroller, meet friends in the sunshine, but instead I feel tired, stressed, overwhelmed and hungry....80% of the time.
This is just an example of one day, and then it just kept happening so much that I stopped going out because it was too stressful to try and calm my screaming baby in the street, in the grocery store, in the shopping center, in the coffee shop. Why does she keep crying? I was obsessed with this and started to link and track her behavior throughout the day, it didn't take me long to realize that she wasn't sleeping very much. Newborns sleep 17 hours a day. Bullshit, who wrote that? My daughter was lucky to get 12 and a lot of it didn't look restful. No wonder she was miserable and so was I. It's been three weeks of about the same, some days are OK, those are normally the days when daddy is home and we can take turns, but we haven't yet solved the no sleep issue, some nights she drifts off to sleep by 7:30 pm and sleeps for 7 hours, other nights 11pm and sleeps for 2, I know there is some person reading this out there that knows what I'm doing wrong. How come no one told me? Is this normal?
We have this blue exercise ball that we thought was the baby secret several weeks ago (about 7 I'd say) because as soon as you sat on it and started bouncing she stopped crying, then eventually I discovered that it also put her to sleep. Now my husband and I need physical therapy because I think we have officially crushed our spines. My two newest fantasies involve ways to pop the ball, my favorite is throwing it off our balcony in front of a moving tram and watching it explode. My other favorite fantasy is walking out the door one night and checking into the posh hotel at the end of our street, just for one night, one whole night of sleep in a comfy bed, alone, quiet....I'm tearing up as I write that from the thought. Only reason I don't actually ever get out the door is because I would feel too bad for my husband, who is amazing and just as sleep deprived as I am, just tends to handle it better, must be something to do with hormones.
Since our sleep and crying issues started 3-4 weeks ago I've read three books about sleep, ordered a sleep program and googled it 1,675 times and asked everyone I've seen, strangers think I'm pretty weird. We're no where closer to normal, although for some reason Nico thinks so, I think he's just trying to keep my spirits up. I'm sure all babies are different, but to be chained to your house except for that small 45 minute window where she will sleep is pretty crapppppy. I know I could bring her out and let her scream in public, but its too much for me, its not like a sweet baby cry people, its a torture scream.
Newborns aren't easy and we are almost out of the newborn stage! 3 weeks to go, haha, I don't know why supposedly in three weeks she'll suddenly start sleeping and stop crying! But lets be hopeful!
I wasn't sure if I should name this post the things they don't tell you...
I have so many stories similar to the one above and I can't decide if I just did something horribly wrong, or my daughter is shy or gets overstimulated easily or is in pain or what. I read a post called my baby hates the world, sometimes I relate to that one too. The first 4 weeks were incredibly challenging times with learning how to even handle a baby and dealing with infections and the trauma of birth, etc. but now...its a whole new ballgame. Some day she'll sleep well (in 10 years?) and by then I'll be too tired to want to go out for a beer. For now, I'll go enjoy Whiteman Beach aka my balcony. I just put her down for nap number 4 by the way, this blog post was finished in 4 different segments and probably took four different directions. Chau for now.
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