A letter to my unborn daughter
My friend Aleisha gave me this great idea last week, so here it goes.
Things I'd like you to know about life, but really most of what you need to know we won't be able to teach you, you'll have to discover on your own. Its funny writing you a letter when I haven't met you yet. I can't wait to meet you.
I don't feel old enough to have a child, I will be 33 in 2 weeks time and I still feel like a kid. One time my dad (your grandfather) said to me that at a certain point in life you stop aging, your body keeps getting older but your mind doesn't change. I thought that was so depressing, I was probably 18 at the time and couldn't help but think how sad it would be to feel 18 but to look 60. Well he was right, I keep getting older, but I don't feel that different than I did 10 years ago. Except for the additional responsibilities. Never let a number tell you anything about someone. Make your own judgments.
Life can be boring sometimes, but only if you let it be. I once read that when a child says "I'm bored" you shouldn't try to fix it for them, as in, don't give them ideas, like "why don't you read a book" because if they don't want to do that or they do do that and are still bored, they'll blame you and the rest of the world for their boredom. Boredom is easily solvable, but you have to come up with your own ideas, your own creativity. Sometimes I let life get boring and I always remember that its up to me to change that. No one else can fill my life with fun, happiness, creativity. I'm in charge of my life and only you are in charge of yours. (Well most of it at least ;)
You will want to and you will travel. You will probably break my heart the way I have broken my mom's. I will never make you feel guilty for traveling, I'll probably come visit you, cause hey I am writing this from Australia and I wasn't born here. We didn't have a lot of money growing up as kids and when I was 17 my grandmother (she was an awesome woman, I'll tell you all about her) gave me the money to go on a 10 day trip with my French class to London, France and Italy. Well, lets just say I never looked back. I remember to this day 16 years later what I was feeling sitting on the bus in London looking out the window. I remember thinking, this will be my life, I will explore, I will always feel as alive as I do in this moment. You will learn everything from traveling, from having nothing, from meeting new people everyday, from figuring out a map in a foreign language, from getting on a plane by yourself. It is the most liberating, terrifying and alive feeling anyone can ever give you.
Someone will break your heart. It will suck, if you're anything like me, it will really suck. I'm a pretty sensitive person and incredibly loyal and stubborn person. When you get this combination it means you never give up on people and you are incredibly optimistic. That doesn't always go well with someone dumping you or telling you you're not the one. It will hurt, but you will be OK, you will move on and you will be so much better for it. You will learn to thank the experience and put it into a chapter of your life, because when real love comes along, well it doesn't end, it only evolves. Remember the saying, this too shall pass. Its a great mantra.
You're going to go to summer camp. I know that doesn't sound like a very nice parent thing to do, to force you into something because I loved it, but trust me on this one. Its only two words, and may even sound lame to you at first, but if you hear nothing else I say when you're an adolescent, you'll thank me for this one. Hopefully camp won't have changed too much over the years. I want you to get stuck in the rain playing Frisbee with friends, to dress up in a potato stack and sing silly songs at the top of your lungs, I want you to stay up all night talking to the your best friends about life, I want you to have a crush on the boy in cabin 2 and reroute the way you walk to the dining hall everyday so you can look at him. I want you to know how to make a campfire and ensure you tell everyone, because well its a cool skill to have.
Be your own person. I know this is a bit cliche, but high school can be really hard, college can be hard, girls can be very difficult, Hormones suck, you may even hate me for a while, but know at the end of everyday no matter what happened, you were you, no one else and you didn't make choices based on what everyone else was doing or saying. Find out who you really are and stick to it. If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for everything.
Give everyone a chance. Don't exclude people, don't judge a book by its cover. If you're annoyed by someone, try to figure out why they annoy you, don't blame others for the way you feel. Everyone has their own purpose and everyone does things (stupid or not) for a reason. Try to figure out the reason. It takes too much energy to hate or to feel mad.
Lastly, I hope to give you the childhood like I had, one that had safety, love, warmth, traditions, and freedom. One that shaped the person I am today. I hope you're dad says goofy things to you and you ride your bike everyday. I hope you spend more time outdoors than in and have 10 friends that live in your neighborhood. Mostly, we want you to know that happiness comes from experience and not from materials. I want you to know that you were loved from the moment we found out we were having you. You're not here yet, but there are so many people that love you and always will.
Things I'd like you to know about life, but really most of what you need to know we won't be able to teach you, you'll have to discover on your own. Its funny writing you a letter when I haven't met you yet. I can't wait to meet you.
I don't feel old enough to have a child, I will be 33 in 2 weeks time and I still feel like a kid. One time my dad (your grandfather) said to me that at a certain point in life you stop aging, your body keeps getting older but your mind doesn't change. I thought that was so depressing, I was probably 18 at the time and couldn't help but think how sad it would be to feel 18 but to look 60. Well he was right, I keep getting older, but I don't feel that different than I did 10 years ago. Except for the additional responsibilities. Never let a number tell you anything about someone. Make your own judgments.
Life can be boring sometimes, but only if you let it be. I once read that when a child says "I'm bored" you shouldn't try to fix it for them, as in, don't give them ideas, like "why don't you read a book" because if they don't want to do that or they do do that and are still bored, they'll blame you and the rest of the world for their boredom. Boredom is easily solvable, but you have to come up with your own ideas, your own creativity. Sometimes I let life get boring and I always remember that its up to me to change that. No one else can fill my life with fun, happiness, creativity. I'm in charge of my life and only you are in charge of yours. (Well most of it at least ;)
You will want to and you will travel. You will probably break my heart the way I have broken my mom's. I will never make you feel guilty for traveling, I'll probably come visit you, cause hey I am writing this from Australia and I wasn't born here. We didn't have a lot of money growing up as kids and when I was 17 my grandmother (she was an awesome woman, I'll tell you all about her) gave me the money to go on a 10 day trip with my French class to London, France and Italy. Well, lets just say I never looked back. I remember to this day 16 years later what I was feeling sitting on the bus in London looking out the window. I remember thinking, this will be my life, I will explore, I will always feel as alive as I do in this moment. You will learn everything from traveling, from having nothing, from meeting new people everyday, from figuring out a map in a foreign language, from getting on a plane by yourself. It is the most liberating, terrifying and alive feeling anyone can ever give you.
Someone will break your heart. It will suck, if you're anything like me, it will really suck. I'm a pretty sensitive person and incredibly loyal and stubborn person. When you get this combination it means you never give up on people and you are incredibly optimistic. That doesn't always go well with someone dumping you or telling you you're not the one. It will hurt, but you will be OK, you will move on and you will be so much better for it. You will learn to thank the experience and put it into a chapter of your life, because when real love comes along, well it doesn't end, it only evolves. Remember the saying, this too shall pass. Its a great mantra.
You're going to go to summer camp. I know that doesn't sound like a very nice parent thing to do, to force you into something because I loved it, but trust me on this one. Its only two words, and may even sound lame to you at first, but if you hear nothing else I say when you're an adolescent, you'll thank me for this one. Hopefully camp won't have changed too much over the years. I want you to get stuck in the rain playing Frisbee with friends, to dress up in a potato stack and sing silly songs at the top of your lungs, I want you to stay up all night talking to the your best friends about life, I want you to have a crush on the boy in cabin 2 and reroute the way you walk to the dining hall everyday so you can look at him. I want you to know how to make a campfire and ensure you tell everyone, because well its a cool skill to have.
Be your own person. I know this is a bit cliche, but high school can be really hard, college can be hard, girls can be very difficult, Hormones suck, you may even hate me for a while, but know at the end of everyday no matter what happened, you were you, no one else and you didn't make choices based on what everyone else was doing or saying. Find out who you really are and stick to it. If you don't stand up for something, you'll fall for everything.
Give everyone a chance. Don't exclude people, don't judge a book by its cover. If you're annoyed by someone, try to figure out why they annoy you, don't blame others for the way you feel. Everyone has their own purpose and everyone does things (stupid or not) for a reason. Try to figure out the reason. It takes too much energy to hate or to feel mad.
Lastly, I hope to give you the childhood like I had, one that had safety, love, warmth, traditions, and freedom. One that shaped the person I am today. I hope you're dad says goofy things to you and you ride your bike everyday. I hope you spend more time outdoors than in and have 10 friends that live in your neighborhood. Mostly, we want you to know that happiness comes from experience and not from materials. I want you to know that you were loved from the moment we found out we were having you. You're not here yet, but there are so many people that love you and always will.
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